Are You On the Same Page About College Costs?

September 10, 2025 

8 Essential Money Questions for Every College-Bound Family

There are many exciting things to talk about when you begin the college admissions process—what to study, which colleges to explore, how to tackle college applications, plan college visits, prepare for interviews, and discover scholarships and other financial aid that might be available to you.

But while families are often aware that college is expensive, they rarely get on the same page with their student about the reality of it: what the actual costs will be, who will cover them, where the money will come from, and what student loan debt means for both the student and parents.

Having early, non-emotional, fact-based conversations about college costs helps families establish financial ground rules and clarify expectations before applying to—or even looking at—colleges. College is a significant investment, and reaching a shared understanding early makes planning more realistic and helps avoid disappointment later.

Use the following questions, handled with honesty, care, and sensitivity, to spark meaningful conversations:

1. Why are you going to college?
   1. Students attend college for many reasons, and there are many ways to shape the experience. Think carefully about why you’re going and what you want for your money. Consider the type of degree, social life, field of study, and campus environment you want. While your goals may change, thinking about them now can help you determine what matters most, what you are willing to pay for, and how your choices can align with your budget.
2. What is the parents’ financial commitment to pay for college?
   1. Families differ in their commitments, resources, and values. Some parents are willing and able to contribute towards college costs through education savings plans, cash, assets, or debt. Others may lack financial resources or may believe—regardless of their financial situation—that the student should be responsible for their own college costs.
   2. If parents are willing and/or able to help, consider these questions:
      • What dollar amount of parent income or assets can be used for college costs?
      • Are parents willing to take out education loans? If so, how much debt is reasonable, and what would that monthly payment be?
      • Is the student expected to help repay loans borrowed by the parents?
      • Are parents willing to co-sign private loans issued in the student’s name? Who will be responsible for repaying them?
3. Are there other college-bound students in the family?
   1. How will parent financial resources be divided among siblings?
4. What are the parents’ retirement plans?
   1. How might contributing to college costs affect their retirement goals?
5. What is financially expected of the student?
   1. Is the student willing and/or expected to help pay for college? Does the student have income or assets that can be used for college costs? If so, how much annually and in total?
   2. Will the student be expected to borrow the maximum in Federal Direct Loans? What will the monthly payment be on those loans and will parents help repay them? If so, for how long?
   3. If the student must borrow private loans, who is responsible for repayment and what would the monthly payment be? Can the interest be paid while in school to avoid capitalization?
   4. What are the student’s career goals? Will their chosen path support the lifestyle they want while still making loan payments?
6. What are the academic expectations for the student?
   1. Although this may not sound like a money question, it’s an important consideration. For example, will the student be expected to maintain a certain GPA or carry a specific course load each year?
   2. Equally important is the time it takes to graduate. According to the National Center for Education Statistics only 44% of students attending 4-year colleges and universities graduate in 4-years (54% at private, non-profit colleges and universities, 36% at public universities, and 20% at for-profit colleges). Sometimes a student takes longer than 4 years to graduate from a 4-year program due to poor advising or scheduling. But other times it’s the student who’s at fault—transferring, changing majors, dropping classes, and not paying attention to program requirements. An extra year or two to get that 4-year degree can significantly increase costs, often 50% or more, which may mean taking on much more debt. Who will be responsible for covering these additional costs if the student does not graduate on time?
7. Is there a grace period after graduation?
   1. How long after graduation will parents help students with any portion of their loans or living expenses?
8. What is each college of interest likely to cost YOU?
   1. This number isn’t simply the college’s COA (Cost of Attendance or ‘sticker price’)—most students don’t pay the full COA. Your Net Price is the amount of money you actually pay to attend a college. Simply put, Net Price equals the COA minus any grants and scholarships (money you don’t have to pay back). Colleges with the most expensive sticker prices usually offer the most generous grants, which can make your Net Price at those schools competitive with cheaper schools. Don’t dismiss a college as too expensive until you’ve determined what you’re likely to pay at that school.
   2. Discover Your Likely Net Price, shows you how to get an accurate estimate of your likely Net Price at each college of interest.

Putting it all together

Money discussions are never easy, especially with stressed-out high school students. But having these conversations early will give you clarity early on and with it the wisdom to choose colleges that align with the family’s resources, goals, and values.